(no subject)

[eruvadhril]

Right-o. We’re not allowed on the net for the rest of the day, so I’m typing this offline. I was looking at Ellin’s disk while listening to Blair’s disk, and noticed that the Elvish font called Tengwar Annatar doesn’t come up with the letters as you type them. So I’m putting up a translation, as it were, from what letters you want to what you actually have to type into your keyboard. Just so you know.

 

Also, for Leigh’s, and possibly Becka’s, benefit, I am going to put a script from a Billy Connolly routine because you’ve never heard of him. I heard this on the way over on the plane, and it’s about Australia yay! so I paid attention and memorized most of it. So go out to your local video store, and I’m sure they’ll have one of his DVDs or videos.

 

Oh, and next week they're showing some documentary thing about The Da Vinci Code. I'm gonna watch it. Those books are just begging to be made into movies, man. Mum thought it was boring, though.

 

  

 

BILLY’S ROUTINE:

(Just imagine Billy Boyd is saying this, and you’ll get the accent basically right. Comedian Billy’s voice is a bit deeper.)

So, I’ve been on holiday recently in Brisbane, and it’s a great place, Australia. I’m amazed that Australians even make it to adulthood at all, because it’s a vicious country. I was there, sitting on the hotel balcony - because being Scottish, I’m pale blue underneath my clothes, so I can’t go to the beach for the first couple of weeks – I’m sitting on the balcony, and I hear this ‘OOOO-oooo-OOOO’ noise. It’s a shark alarm. And there’s still people swimming! If that was me, I’d be swimming like I’d never swam before, going ‘AAAAHHHH!!!’, and pushing children out of the way. I’m going ‘HEEEEY!!! GET OUT OF THE WATER!!!’ And they all think ‘Who’s that blue bastard up on the balcony?’

But after a few days I decided to go scuba-diving with my wife, and we were getting quite good at it. We were picking up the jargon, you know; ‘fish’, ‘big rock’. And I popped out of the water and I was facing the beach, and my kids were waving at me, going ‘hey!’ and I waved back, and then I turned round. I don’t know why I did that. If you ever go scuba diving, never turn round like that, because I turned round and saw a fin going through the water. Honestly, I thrashed the water to foam. “AAAHHH! SHAAAAAAAAARK!” I’ve never swam so fast in my life. “AAAAAHH!” I nearly got run over by a bus in the main street. But it was nowt more than Flipper.

But I went to the pharmacy to get some sunscreen, and there they have numbers from one to fourteen depending on how strong you need it to be. I was number twenty-seven, which is like a bandage. But the woman at the counter, she had a spider on her desk. It was in a jar, preserved in amber, and it was HUGE. I said, “What’s that”? and she said, “Oh, that’s the famous funnelweb spider,” I said, “Oh, you would have got that out in the bush,” pointing over my shoulder, you know, trying to sound knowledgeable. I thought it was a safe bet to point away from the sea. “Out in the bush.” It’s a strange name for the Australian outback, isn’t it, ‘the bush’. I think it’s a vast expanse of desert with one bush in the middle. She said to me “Oh, no, we caught that in the backyard of the hotel across the street,” I said, “I live there now.”

A few hours before the gig I went out for a walk, as is my wont, and I came across a sign that said ‘BEWARE’, so I was being ware. ‘BEWARE Stingers, or Box Jellyfish’. I thought “what sort of place is this? They come gift wrapped for you?” And the sign went on ‘If the heart stops,’ “Oh, what are you talking about, ‘If the heart stops?’” ‘If the heart stops, douse the wound liberally in vinegar.’ I mean, I always go to the beach with a bottle of vinegar! I’m sure you’re the same! I just get this mental image of people wandering up and down the beach, dragging their wounded limbs behind them, looking for fish-and-chips shops. *fade out to irritating radio presenter*

 

Now, the font translation thingie.

 

LETTER YOU WANT	WHAT YOU HAVE TO TYPE
A	#
B	w
C	a
D	2
E	$
F	e
G	x
H	9
I	%
J	s
K	z
L	j
M	t
N	5
O	^
P	q
R	7 for the one looking like a y, or 6 for the other
S	Upper-case i
T	1
U	&
V	r
W	y
Y	h
Z	k
DH	4
TH	3

 

And if you’re typing the vowels, you have to type the letter that comes AFTER the vowel before you type the actual vowel. So for ‘hello’, instead of typing  9 $ j j ^  you have to type 9 j $ j ^ . You see?

 

I’ll save this now, and post it tomorrow. See youse!

 

P.S. TIM TAMS TIM TAMS TIM TAMS!

Comments

[whitefaith.livejournal.com]

To do multiple lj-cuts you just put the first bunch of stuff behind a cut like normal and then do the < /lj-cut > thingy. Then open a new lj-cut and put the second bunch of stuff behind that and close it, and continue for as many cuts as you want.
Did that make sense?

[sapphire-child.livejournal.com]

made sense to me, good explaining.

[eruvadhril.livejournal.com]

Cool, thanks.