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Aug. 20th, 2005 02:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eruvadhrilWhy the heck would they close the Youth Club for the holidays? Surely kids need MORE stuff to do during the holidays. Stupid Youth Club.
As a consequence, I am sat at home with nothing better to do than read and watch movies, and you can only do that for so long without your eyes going blurry. We got Edward Scissorhands from the library, continuing with our current "AUGH! JOHNNY! SQUEE!" theme. How old is Johnny in that thing? Seriously, he looks about fifteen. The scary thing is, he really doesn't look any older in CatCF. I think this was probably the start of the unholy Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Danny Elfman film-making trilogy. It's not a bad movie. The end is good. The start seems to go nowhere and the pastel houses scare me. At the start, this little kid is asking her grandmother where snow comes from, and about halfway through the movie we get this thirty-second shot of him making this ice sculpture and 'snow' flying everywhere, and at the end the grandma is like "And I know he's still alive in the castle because the town gets snow now, and it never snowed before! It's Edward making ice sculptures!" The rest of the movie is basically how much the general human population sucks. And Johnny being angsty and huggable. Poor Johnny. Can't wait for the next Pirates.
You know, Mum refused to believe that it was Johnny in Finding Neverland. We were about five minutes into the film, and Mum was like "So, where's Johnny Depp?" She says this as Scottish!Johnny (O.M.G.) is saying how much his play sucks. Dad and I look at each other and I say "That's him." Mum: "Who?" Dad: "That one! The Scottish bloke!" Mum: "No, it isn't!" Johnny :*does that eyebrow-and-mouth thing* Me: "Look! Johnny!" Mum: *scrutinises him* "... Nah!"
It went on until about the point where he meets Kate Winslet, and then Mum was like "Oh! I see it now!" and we're like "Oh, you think?"
I made a little flippy cardinal-in-a-cage optical illusion thingamawhatsit like they've got in Sleepy Hollow. Katrina made one with a fish in a bowl. If you want to make one, make it square instead of round, because it spins better.
We got Dracula 2000 in the mail today! Woah, Gerry, is that you? You look more like the eighth Doctor.
DRACULA: *slams someone against a wall*
Oh, there he is.
Is it wrong that every time he hypnotises a girl and holds out his hand and she takes his hand, we go "DUNNNNNNNNN! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNNNNNNNNNN!!!" a la Phantom? Or that when Van Helsing says "He must be found!" I start singing "Track down this murderer, he must be found!"
Dracula is after Van Helsing's daughter Mary (close to Mina, but we can't call her Mina because no one in the 21st century has a name like 'Mina'), because she has vampire blood but was not bitten by a vampire. She has vampire blood because Van Helsing has been getting blood from Dracula with leeches and using it to keep himself alive so that he can guard Dracula and find a way to kill him. Some morons steal the coffin, expecting it to be full of money or something, and Dracula gets loose. In New Orleans. During Mardi Gras. There are people running about with loud music and no clothes on. Dracula thinks that this century rules.
So you know, Dracula was originally Judas Iscariot. Ahhhh. Throughout the movie, they were talking about how if they find out his true identity they'll be able to kill him, and they always say it when there's, like, a stained-glass window of the Last Supper in the background, or there's a Bible on the table with an illustration of the Last Supper, or things like that. And then Mary figures it out, and we get this montage of things, like Jesus on the crucifix ("So that's why he hates crosses"), and the silver coins ("Ah, that's why vampires hate silver stakes, or bullets, or whatever.") and they figured that he could be killed by hanging (Kip your 'ands at ze level of your aiz!), because... Judas hung himself. I'm not sure how that works, as it obviously didn't work last time, but okay. At the end, Mary was like "God still loves you!" and Dracula was like "Pff." and then he got hung and there was this large crucifix with Jesus on it above him, and I think he did ask for forgiveness then. He de-vampired Mary, anyway. Then the sun burned him up.
Mary-not-Mina's best friend? Named Lucy. Got vampired. Hahaha. I wanted Mary's love interest to be named Johnathan, but no such luck- he's called Simon. Also, best line ever? Dracula saying "I do not drink... coffee." Fantastic. Sexy Gerrard Butler. He does the Transylvanian sort of accent, but with a couple of words you think "Oh, Scot!" Slightly Scottish Dracula. Nice.
As a consequence, I am sat at home with nothing better to do than read and watch movies, and you can only do that for so long without your eyes going blurry. We got Edward Scissorhands from the library, continuing with our current "AUGH! JOHNNY! SQUEE!" theme. How old is Johnny in that thing? Seriously, he looks about fifteen. The scary thing is, he really doesn't look any older in CatCF. I think this was probably the start of the unholy Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Danny Elfman film-making trilogy. It's not a bad movie. The end is good. The start seems to go nowhere and the pastel houses scare me. At the start, this little kid is asking her grandmother where snow comes from, and about halfway through the movie we get this thirty-second shot of him making this ice sculpture and 'snow' flying everywhere, and at the end the grandma is like "And I know he's still alive in the castle because the town gets snow now, and it never snowed before! It's Edward making ice sculptures!" The rest of the movie is basically how much the general human population sucks. And Johnny being angsty and huggable. Poor Johnny. Can't wait for the next Pirates.
You know, Mum refused to believe that it was Johnny in Finding Neverland. We were about five minutes into the film, and Mum was like "So, where's Johnny Depp?" She says this as Scottish!Johnny (O.M.G.) is saying how much his play sucks. Dad and I look at each other and I say "That's him." Mum: "Who?" Dad: "That one! The Scottish bloke!" Mum: "No, it isn't!" Johnny :*does that eyebrow-and-mouth thing* Me: "Look! Johnny!" Mum: *scrutinises him* "... Nah!"
It went on until about the point where he meets Kate Winslet, and then Mum was like "Oh! I see it now!" and we're like "Oh, you think?"
I made a little flippy cardinal-in-a-cage optical illusion thingamawhatsit like they've got in Sleepy Hollow. Katrina made one with a fish in a bowl. If you want to make one, make it square instead of round, because it spins better.
We got Dracula 2000 in the mail today! Woah, Gerry, is that you? You look more like the eighth Doctor.
DRACULA: *slams someone against a wall*
Oh, there he is.
Is it wrong that every time he hypnotises a girl and holds out his hand and she takes his hand, we go "DUNNNNNNNNN! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNNNNNNNNNN!!!" a la Phantom? Or that when Van Helsing says "He must be found!" I start singing "Track down this murderer, he must be found!"
Dracula is after Van Helsing's daughter Mary (close to Mina, but we can't call her Mina because no one in the 21st century has a name like 'Mina'), because she has vampire blood but was not bitten by a vampire. She has vampire blood because Van Helsing has been getting blood from Dracula with leeches and using it to keep himself alive so that he can guard Dracula and find a way to kill him. Some morons steal the coffin, expecting it to be full of money or something, and Dracula gets loose. In New Orleans. During Mardi Gras. There are people running about with loud music and no clothes on. Dracula thinks that this century rules.
So you know, Dracula was originally Judas Iscariot. Ahhhh. Throughout the movie, they were talking about how if they find out his true identity they'll be able to kill him, and they always say it when there's, like, a stained-glass window of the Last Supper in the background, or there's a Bible on the table with an illustration of the Last Supper, or things like that. And then Mary figures it out, and we get this montage of things, like Jesus on the crucifix ("So that's why he hates crosses"), and the silver coins ("Ah, that's why vampires hate silver stakes, or bullets, or whatever.") and they figured that he could be killed by hanging (Kip your 'ands at ze level of your aiz!), because... Judas hung himself. I'm not sure how that works, as it obviously didn't work last time, but okay. At the end, Mary was like "God still loves you!" and Dracula was like "Pff." and then he got hung and there was this large crucifix with Jesus on it above him, and I think he did ask for forgiveness then. He de-vampired Mary, anyway. Then the sun burned him up.
Mary-not-Mina's best friend? Named Lucy. Got vampired. Hahaha. I wanted Mary's love interest to be named Johnathan, but no such luck- he's called Simon. Also, best line ever? Dracula saying "I do not drink... coffee." Fantastic. Sexy Gerrard Butler. He does the Transylvanian sort of accent, but with a couple of words you think "Oh, Scot!" Slightly Scottish Dracula. Nice.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 01:12 pm (UTC)I think they even got Keith Richards to play Capt. Jack Sparrow's father. Which makes my mum go "Squee!" with joy.
"Dracula 2000"? Why "Dracula 2000"? If you want a terrible vampyre movie, why not watch "Van Helsing"? At least with that movie you get Daisy Wenham and Hugh Jackman sans shirt.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 03:30 am (UTC)